Journal Entries

Journal Entry #1:
October 13th, 1955

Dear Journal,

I have been put in an asylum because my parents thought I was "crazy". Just because I've been acting differently, differently as in I liked to spend time to myself and I'm always sad lately. My parents always favour my brother, Hans. Hans always does everything right, according to them. Everything I do something for my father, Hans always takes credit for it. For example, last week my father told me to fix up the old tractor that's been sitting in  the yard for years, I did so, Hans took credit for it. I told my father Hans had been lying, but then I was slapped across the face and my father yelled "Why can't you be as truthful as Hans?" So, I've been feeling kind of down, and I always feel sad.

Love, Josef

Journal Entry #2:
July 12th, 1964

Dear Journal,

It's almost been 10 years, 10 years in this dreadful place. They treat me like a pile of crap, the nurse Helga beats me everyday. She always tells me to cheer up. I just can't and when I try to be happy for once, I just think about the old times and get upset all over again. Helga is nasty, I'm her patient, she could at least try to be nice to me. It seems like all these nurses think us, the patients, are contagious or something. My parents haven't come to visit, ever. It's like they don't even care about me anymore, they treat  me as if I were dead. I don't know why though, I asked Helga why my parents won't come visit it me and she told me it's because "I'm insane". I'm 27 now, I should be married and have my own child and taken over the family farm. I bet Hans has a great life because he's like an only child now.

I really don't like it here in the asylum, I find being locked up here makes me feel crazier. Some of the men here are very scary, they just sit there and laugh at you. Some of them get really mad, and start beating you up for no reason. I just want to go home, as bad as it was, it was better than where I am now.

Love, Josef

Journal Entry #3:
December 10th, 1975

Dear Journal,

It's been 20 years, still no sight of my parents. Helga and the other nurses are no long here, I'm quite happy about it. The nurses we have now aren't that bad, they don't treat me as if I were contagious anymore. They found out that I actually have a mental illness named depression. Depression is an illness that affects ones mood. It makes you feel hopeless, anxious, empty, worried, etc.
I guess the reason why I have depression is the fact that I never felt loved, and I never got any attention. I wrote a letter to my parents explaining what's actually wrong with me, and I still haven't gotten a reply. It's been 2 months. I just want my parents to love me and not think that I was contagious, in fact depression happens to many people.

Unfortunately, there's no cure to depression... yet. I hope before I die, there will be a cure. I just want to be happy again.

Love, Josef

Journal Entry #4:
October 14th, 1985

Dear Journal,

30 years and one day. Finally, I'm starting to get cured. There's this lady i go talk to everyday, her name is Nadia. She's actually very nice and she helps me overcome what I have gone through in these past couple of years. I was told my parents had passed away, too bad I couldn't talk to them one last time. I'm 46 now, and I was put in an asylum when I was 16. Hans came to visit me one day and said sorry, and he had given a note that my mother had wrote on her death bed. She claimed she was sorry and a bunch of other crap. But, I actually wanted to hear a real sorry, one that she really meant. She could have just written something. I've been isolated for several years because I was "crazy". I'm going to bed in rehab for the next month then I'll be living with Hans and I'll try to find a job.

Love, Josef

Journal Entry #5:
June 16th, 1990

Dear Journal,

I've been living with Hans for the past couple of months, and they've found a cure for depression. I've become happier due to my pills called "anti-depressants" and with the help of my therapist, Nadia. Nadia helped me overcome my fears and she made me feel happier. Nadia was much better than the nurses I had at the asylum, every day at the asylum was pure hell, and I didn't have enough food. I was skinny and weak, but I am finally better and living a happy life. I met this wonderful woman by the name of Maria, she has her own farm and she too was in an asylum for years for depression. That brought us closer and we are to get married next summer. I'm happy I'm living such a great life, and I have to thank everyone whom had found a cure for depression.

Love, Josef